Wedding Etiquette for Bridesmaids

The guide to frequently asked (awkward) questions on behalf of all bridesmaids for a heartfelt celebration of someone’s special day, plus wonderful memories of being a trusted bridesmaid at your best friend’s or sister’s wedding!

Common or Awkward FAQs by Bridesmaids

I am married. Can I still be a bridesmaid?

Most people are fine with married bridesmaids, as there are many who get married at a later age now. When in doubt, ask the bride for her honest opinion (most probably she will ask her parents)! After all, you are one of her closest friends or a family member to be part of the wedding entourage.

What to expect being a bridesmaid?

Essentially, be prepared to help the bride as much as you can—especially on the big day! Be part of the wedding preparation—be in touch with the maid of honour (or chief bridesmaid) and get up on speed on the duties required. Common responsibilities would be taking part in the gatecrash party, taking on wedding reception or ushering duties, contributing to a bridal shower or hen’s night. A bridesmaid may need to be on standby to participate in the venue setup where necessary.

What is the difference between the maid of honour and a bridesmaid?

The maid of honour, or the “chief bridesmaid”, will be the one whom the bride relies on the most. As maid of honour, your duties may include coordinating the bridesmaids’ preparation plans, pre-wedding plans, actual programme or activities. Some maids of honour are expected to organise a bridal shower and/or a bachelorette party night, which includes contributing to costs involved. Discuss in detail with the bride-to-be the duties she needs you to be in-charge of, take initiative to lend a helping hand.

Can I decline being a bridesmaid?

Yes, but decline early and sincerely with honesty. By receiving an invitation to be a bridesmaid, chances are you must have some form of connection with the bride-to-be or the couple itself.

Is it bad luck to be a bridesmaid 3 times?

Traditionally to the Chinese, it is considered bad marital luck for the couple and for you as an unmarried woman. However, many couples choose to do away with tradition or folklore so ask before accepting the invitation to be a bridesmaid! If still in doubt, the said bridesmaid must do her best to catch the bridal bouquet during the toss to ward off any negativity...

Who buys bridesmaid dresses?

As a gesture to show appreciation to the bridesmaids, most brides will buy the dresses for her leading ladies. Be sure to discuss before your dress search! This way, a reasonable price or budget can be agreed upon.

Do bridesmaids pay for their hair and/or makeup?

Yes. Typically, bridesmaids cover their own hair and makeup, unless the bride offers to sponsor the dolling up.

Do bridesmaids give a gift at the wedding?

Wedding etiquette indicates that you're still expected to give a wedding gift or ang pow to the couple. If you have a plus-one at their wedding, split the cost with your partner.